This verse is ever so familiar with all Christian parents and I was once again reminded when a
fellow blogging mom shared it just recently.
Psalm 127:3
“Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from Him.”
(New International Version)
Indeed, kids are entrusted into our hands. It's us who are bestowed this gift and given the stewardship to tend to them. God has been gracious to bless us with 2 kids with great ease but parenting comes with challenge.
To me, it means spending time actively involved with the kids doing things together, playing together. Being a working mom, time with the kids is so limited and I want ever minute to be constructive. Now, with Abel wanting to do everything that Keziah does and Keziah wanting to do what Abel does, it becomes rather difficult to plan different activities and run activities parallel side by side together. Yes, some are common so it's not an issue but some need to be age appropriate. It's already exhausting after a day's work, housework (can't complain on this as lovely hubby does a great deal) and spending time in evenings to prepare a plan for activities to do together be it flashcards, singing, reading, art, phonics/writing and piano for Keziah, motor and creativity activities (play dough, lego, make believe play, rolling, scissor cutting, scooping, weaving, lacing and so many more) and number sense manipulatives for Abel (Of course not everyday since there's still school stuff to complete before bed). LEARN THROUGH PLAY. The worse is, however, to get them to focus. I tried to do activities in the room after dinner at in laws as we have to wait for Daddy to return but still the two would be tussling with one another. It got so bad yesterday that I banished Keziah out of the room, leaving her crying. As a result, everything got migrated back downstairs to the living room. Seriously all these got Mommy really impatient and ended up raising her voice, grumpy and irritated when expectations were not met [Occupational hazard 1: high expectations] almost every other day. That really shouldn't be the way in bringing up Godly children. What a bad role model!
How Mommy wished she could just split the hour she has with the kids after dinner to do just some simple stuff, 30 min each! Support please when both kids want attention! Someone ever asked me why am I trying to still do all those with them since they are already in and for piano, Keziah is already in a music class. Did my parents do all these with me when I was young and so I managed to do well in studies? No. In constrast, I still remembered catching catepillars and red ants with neighbours in the field in pre-school and neither did I attend any enrichment lessons at all (ok, I'm music illiterate, no talent in art, only good in academics and craft). Am I a kiasu parent? Probably but things have changed [Occupational hazard 2: evolution of education landscape - Teach Less Learn More (TLLM) or TLLL?]. I didn't remember learning addition in pre-school which they now do. In fact, I heard kids in K2 learn simple multiplication near the end of their course even in PCF. If my kids have been gifted, I wouldn't have to worry or I should say there are other stuff to worry about for gifted kids. I was asked of recent over the hols by my stunned father-in-law who realised my dear Keziah of 4 couldn't write her numbers. Well, the simple thing is that I haven't been writing with her and no one does until last year when I was on no pay leave that I started her on letters. With such penmanship, it's about consistency which lacks. Of course, this year Ah Ma also does some writing with her now that she's under her care and me being quite insistent. Afterall, she's my mom and I can try to get her buy in more easily (haha!). One thing from being in the education industry is that you realise school alone is not sufficient and parent involvement is important. Tuition and enrichment are big now in Singapore but nothing will draw the best of it all without parent involvement.
Some say I'm a control freak! Why don't I prepare the materials and leave to the grandpas and grandmas to help out since they are with them most of the day and educated? Anyway, Abel sleeps for 3 hours every afternoon so 30 min of activities won't be very much then it's simply engaging in play. Yupz, I did but I can't impose as much as suggest and can't expect others to do everything for me. [Occupational hazard 3: SOW. Writing lesson plans but not fulfilled. Hey teachers, don't they sound familiar?] They are already doing their part to provide basic care and ferrying them around where necessary. Then why don't I get a maid? Fillipinos are quite good with kids and more educated. All you have to do is instruct them. Maybe it's just a personal belief that maids are to do housework and not to accompany the kids if we ever employ one. The truth is also that I don't know how to live with a stranger.
Anyway, was so thankful yesterday when my BIL actually was home early and read to Abel, giving me time to focus on Keziah. Then again, it wasn't just yesterday, he's also plays with them if he's home early. That's why he's their favourite playmate. Kids are smart, aren't they? Probably one thing Mommy failed so far is to get them to play independently. This would have really relief the problem of the two distracting each other. Guess this is one disadvantage when you don't take care of them yourself and that tells in their discipline as well! Will have to start working on it [Occupational hazard 4: AFI]!
Frankly, I am also abit concern (not sure if paranoid) that Keziah seems to be writing the wrong way round. Circles are usually drawn in an anticlockwise direction but K has been doing it conversely. This impacts her writing in that her 'C', 'S' and such can be written wrong way round in mirror image form. She also doesn't seem to recognise the phonic sounds when it's in a simple 3-letter word with short vowel 'a' albeit us having done different activities involving them and she knowing the sounds of all the letters. Hopefully it's not a learning disability.[Occupational hazard 5: Severity of learning disabilities]
Sometimes, Mommy just wished she could CLONE herself! Maybe 4 clones would be good: 1 to work, 1 to do housework, 1 to accompany Abel and the last for Keziah. Dream on! Wake up!
There's really only so much I could do. God will be the one to give grace and strength sufficient for us to go through all the ups and downs of parenting. Don't compare!
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