Myraids of faces

Smily little Keziah playing with her tongue once again...

Hmmm...do you notice that she's drooling?

Under the play gym, exploring with wide eyes...

Smiling in her dreams and with dreamy eyes wondering who's there

Great Singapore Sale and more of Keziah

Yupz yupz the sales are here! I really want to go out shopping. Heehee...wonder if Baby Keziah is ready for it. Well, I am still considering my odds of bringing her out and most probably will use a pram. Ha Ha otherwise I think I will have my hands all full.

Okiez it's been awhile since I started up loading some pics of Keziah. She has grown bigger I guess or at least seems abit more chubby and heavier. Heehee and I am very happy she's napping alittle better though not very long naps and I seems to have to watch over her. I think she is really quick temper over the things she wants. Needs must be met asap. Still a light sleeper unless she can step into deep sleep. Today the aircon man is here to check out our leaking aircon and it happens to be her nap time. Woke up once by the noisy machine (yes, it sounds like a super high powered vaccum that rumbles alot) to clean out the clogged pipe. After 20 min of carrying upright and rubbing her back, she finally fell back to sleep amidst the noise and I successfully put her down on her tummy.

Tongue out..licky..

Fun on tummy

Oops..I'm caught 'red-handed'

Yawn....I wanna sleep

It's Zzzzzzz time

Our Family

My new Minnie Friend from Japan

Back to Work?

Feelings about work seems to create some dilemma in me. Initially I was dying to go back to work as baby's cries were driving me crazy. Yet as the days went by, seeing how little Keziah grows and developes, I start to hesitate about returning to the workforce, leaving her with my parents. Everyday I see her smile more, communicate more in her baby language, always looking so engaging in our conversation, I begin to tolerate her cries abit better and find life more predictable. I love her more each day and never regreted stepping into motherhood which ties me down and changes my life and pirorities.

Now with all her baby ance gone, little Keziah has such smooth soft skin, coupled with the lovable baby smell, makes her such a darling. Napping a little better leaves me more time to go online, watch her sleep and for today, organise her photos which have been developed but sitting on the table as I have yet found time earlier to make up her scrap book. Pity didn't take picture of her everyday but only now and then.

Babyies and nightmares?

Hmm...I really wonder if babies have nightmares. Was putting my gal down to bed at her usual timing though she was fussing quite abit during the last feed...Not sure if it's due to slow milk flow or simply she's full and yet forced to drink or simply cranky. However, after 50min she let out a loud cry as if suddenly awoken by some unknown fear. After some quick carrying and patting by my hubby she went back to sleep. Sure hope she sleeps tight from here on.

Dreams dreams

Looks like Keziah is getting more or less a fixed wake up and bed tim, starting the day 7-8am and ending 9pm. Still waking for one night feed at 3-4am. This morning is really wierd. She fuss with eyes opened and I took her out to feed for 15 min and thought she had fallen asleep so I placed her back in her cot. Yet she wakes on hitting the bed and started to play with her disney pooh mobile. Left her as such and expressed about 90ml of milk. She's not falling asleep on her own, just kept yawning! Got hb change her diapers and gave her another 25 min and she's in dreamland. However poor mummy had difficulty getting to sleep with funny dreams. Kept tossing in bed and dreaming funny things till 6 plus when my hb got up for work. Finally slept abt an hour and half before hb said his byes and shortly before Keziah's waking.

Baby Mood Swings

Hmm..think babies follow their mummy's in their mood swings. I noticed when I am exceptionally anxious about how to get her to nap, why she not napping long, why can't she sleep like other babies, she too is cranky and exceptionally hard to coax. Today somehow after talking to some mothers on msn, I came to realise and crystalise the fact that babies are different, babies change all the time, babies might sometimes just want to be cuddled, sometimes just want you to notice their needs since they can't communicate in verbal yet. Somehow today it was much easier to put little Keziah to nap. I put her in car seat till she fussed, sang to her and then cradle her to sleep downstairs before putting her on tummy on our bed. Second nap I managed to cradle her to sleep and then set on the bed to watch her abit before putting her down. Who knows she actually phantom cried and a little patting puts her back to half asleep state. Next I noticed she surveyed the place before closing her eyes at about 20 min whereby I then put her on the bed. Think she was exploring whether this is a safe place to sette down. Today I also on a light in the room to brighten it up abit coz the dark room theory of the books don't seem to work on her. Maybe she's afraid of dark. Let's see how long she can nap this time. Meanwhile I am having a cup of tea while writing the blog. You must be wondering why am I not resting. Will do in awhile but guess I want to have a break doing something on my own too. Heehee...possibly also coz my hb was very helpful last night with washing my pumps and putting my expressed milk into bags for freezing and changing diapers this morning at about 5 am while I slept abit more. Prayful she will hold on to these schedules and nap more. Even if it's 45 min each time is fine. Will wait to see when I can put her to sleep without cradling and she will just sleep on her own. heehee..

Good days and BAD days

Okay after taliking about the good nights, as we begin the week, there it goes kicking off ith a bad start, Our gal as usual can't seem to fall asleep for her naps. For a good 10 mins I could put her half asleep beside me on the bed and she dozes off. Who knows the next moment she wakes up crying and wailing. Can't seem to calm her and only after carrying fo awhile she dozes to a half asleep state. Yet now even when carrying she rouses by some bubbles in her throat and carry on crying and yawning midway. Obviously tired and can't go to sleep. Is she colic? I think I will visit the PD soon if this goes on and on...

Wanted to put her on training to sleep but how to with a state like this? Am I too soft-hearted? Do I have to do he hard way of crying it out?

Amazing night...

Wow! Last night was really amazing. I set my gal to bed at about 9.10pm and was expecting her to be up at 4 or 5 am. Yet who knows she was only up at 5.50 am. She clocked almost 9hrs of sleep straight throught without waking up - or at least not to the extent that I knew she was crying in her usual super loud voice that would wake me up. She must have got drunk on my milk. I had wanted to express my milk at 3.15 am but thinking that she would be awake soon, I aborted the idea. Ended up morning I was so full and am certain that I gave her a super feed. Yet who knows she pooed as usual but refuse to return to bed there after. Guess the day started early. I must say she is now adopting some kind of routine in feeding but yet to learn to nap. I have started adopting the E.A.S.Y (Eat, Activity, Sleep, Your time) as written from the book though a little variation with the feeding time ranging 2-3h. Success in some way but I still haven't got much of my own time since she simply refuses to sleep and always gets overtired that she screams and gets plenty of wind that makes her scream in her shrill voice. Eating times are closer in the afternoon when she doesn't sleep well and fuss. Typically she catnaps and refuses to be put down in bed. The soothing cycle repeats itself. Tried the shh..shh...and pat method and got her to sleep while carrying her. Amazingly this evening about 6pm I carried her to sleep and thinking she will only sleep 30 min I simply just carried her (a no no if you want your baby to sleep independently). Put her down on the bed at 7.15 pm thinking she would wake up so that I could sponge her but who knows despite our noise, tickles and exercises, she simply refused to wake. No choice we had to resort to simply change her and sponge her half asleep. Yes, she fussed and screamed halfway. As usual I fed her after and she slept at 9 pm in her cot. Oh please don't give me a erratic night and get up in the wee hours to fuss.

Actually today being Saturday, my hubby is around to give me a hand. His presence just makes me feel so happy eventhough he's tired from the week's work. His big smile and his share of household chores make me feel rather comforted at times though I still get pissed and wonder why he gets so tired easily when handling baby Keziah. Heehee...had pasta for lunch and chicken pie for dinner today cooked by him. Still appreciated though I had to carry Keziah in one hand and eat with the other as she was fussing and struggling to find her way to dreamland.

2 months old

Counting the days, Keziah is now 2 months 1 day old. Looks like I am posting only every once a week. Arghh...every day I want to come in to put up a post, I just feel I better rest. I must say I am thankful now that Keziah is sleeping well at night - at least 5-7h a stretch before a night feed and going back to bed. She is also showing some sleeping and feeding pattern though can be a little erratic at times. I still have difficulty putting her down to nap in the day. Even calling up the parentcraft consultant doesn't seem to be of much help as she says my girl is fine as she sleeps well at night. The problem is in the day when she doesn't sleep and she gets tired obviously, she cranks. Now I am reading this book recommended by my friend entitled "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer" by Tracy Hogg. Trying to steal all time to read from feeding to watching my girl sleep. Guess I am a slow reader and now slowly ploughing through it in hope to get some tips. Really tough trying to adopt S.L.O.W - Stop, Listen, Observe and What's up - to understand what the baby wants. Especially so when now at my mum's place trying to get her adapted to staying here for the day as I will be leaving her here for my parents to tend to her when I start work. Okiez.. muz persevere...oops here she goes cranking upon putting down on bed by my mum after she carried her to nap.

"Hmmm....It's bath time?"

"ahhhhh....so relaxed after the swim in the bath"

"Hello...taking a pic of me!"

"Wonder what's out there"

"Hey I want to show my little hands too"

"Toys toys how are u?"

AT mum's

Today is my weekly visit with baby to my mum's. I'm amazed that after a week, baby Keziah actually knows it's a different place and refuses to take her noon nap eventhough she is tired. She would nap for 5 min after placing her down on the bed and start to wail again. She would be comfortable sleeping on the shoulder but not the bed. Guess it's security. It's not her feeding time yet so it's the persistence of putting her to bed. This cycle repeats itself for 4-5 times before she finally settles down for a 30 min nap till her due feed time. How smart babies are! On the other hand, they are rather forgetful and easily out of their comfort zone.

Nonetheless, it's alot more relaxing for me with someone else to play with her rather than me. I can have some peace of mind to express my milk and surf the net. Heehee..She's a playful gal and loves to engage in talks and fun more now. Looking at her wave her hands and kick her legs and for once I saw her kinda holding on her own feet to play today.

Week 7 plus

Whew..time seems to past without much realisation. Baby Keziah is almost 8 weeks old. By right she should be getting into some form of routine but as usual things don't go as expected. Juz one moment in the morning she was enjoying her bath which is one of her favourite activity for the day, another moment she was wailing and poor mummy here doesn't know what she wants. Thought she's hungry, but she was so angry at the breast and keep refusing it. Thinking that she is sleepy, tried to carry, rock and sing her to sleep but to no avail. I must say she was tired and wanted to sleep but somehow something was disturbing her since she has already been up for 3-4 hours. So there I went trying to withstand the cries and continued to carry, rock and sing to settle her and for a moment it seemed like ages. This was especially so with a terrible aching hands which had been aggravated by the ravage of hormones causing carpal tunnel syndrome. She dozed off but was woken by her own shrill hicks as if short of breathe and sudden jerk of her head. She swallowed as if someone tried to drown her with loads of liquids. I was almost on the verge of tears. Thank God after a few of such scenerios and burps, she finally settled to rest and that's why I am here writing this blog. Hmm..my mother-in-law said it was due to her having a narrow windpipe and apparently the PD said during last visit 1 week plus ago that it's normal and babies will outgrow it. Sure hopes she outgrows it quickly. What a traumatic start of week.

On the happy note, sharing here some pictures of her bath. First bath pictures after such a long time with her posing nude. Ha ha...

Keziah's enjoying her bath

First 'RA' pose

Keziah's messing up again after Daddy cleans her

Keziah's finally sleeping after fussing for hours

Life has never been so good...

All smiles these 2 days. Baby Keziah has never been so good. Somehow it seems like I understand her better and of coz same of her to me. The sense of achievement of being able to put her to nap in the day, be it 30 mins or 1h, has never felt so good. She seems to be feeding more regularly and that probably means that my milk supply has more or less stabilise to meet her needs. Really thank God and certainly more prayers as this journey of motherhood progresses. Her responsive smiles has certainly caught the eyes of many, her interesting responses of cooing and babbling communicate her thoughts to people and things she sees, her lovely gaze has never been so much more alert. Of coz I would like her to take longer afternoon naps so that I can have more time for my own but what more can I ask for. Each day will get better. Babies are unpredictable at times and I am learning to take to the flow of things. This certainly makes life for enjoyable. Hmm...one thing I must learn is how to make her want to be carried less. She has somehow taken to enjoying being carried to look at things, carried when feeling sleepy, carried when grumpy. She has also yet to learn to settle into bed on her own (well the books says babies should be able to settle down on their own to bed). Do I really have to try cold turkey and let her cry to sleep? Hmm....

Started online shopping for some transition clothes which I can wear to nurse discretely outside. Have never been so enthusiastic about online shopping ever. Heehee...Juz received my new clothes today. Can't wait to try it on! Hope I will look good in them. Bought this nursing tea that is supposed to increase milk supply. I suppose everything is a trial. Well well, so all in all I spent $105. Gotta watch that I don't go overboard with shopping. Mothers must look good too! Haha...

Why MONDAY!

Monday..Monday...Monday...
Somehow all things unfortunate happens on Monday. Keziah seems to have taken to some silly Monday crank all the time. Last night she slept only at 2am and today she got up at 8 am. Fed her, bath her, changed her, played with her but she just didn't want to sleep when it's time to put her to nap. She was so cranky and it really drove me up the wall wondering what was wrong. Fed her when it's not even feeding time to soothe her but somehow it didn't work. She was screaming till her face was all red. Yes, I see red too!!!! Finally took her out for a walk to Novena Square and she somehow quieten and fell asleep on the walk. So I simply spent 1h window shopping and came home due to a bad stomach. She was wide awake again once she hit home. What can I say? She's gonna be a outdoor gal when she grows up? Thankfully my hubby took a day off to keep me company seeing the distress I face. Somehow I feel so thankful but there's really little he could do when I am breastfeeding. At least I could have a hug when I feel low and somehow to carry her around. Noted that Keziah has started to recognise people and when she's cranky it seems that I am the only one who could carry her and soothe her down for a little while. Though I feel good she knows I am mummy but I also want others to be able to help me out in carrying her. Okiez better rest before she next wakes up.

It's FRIDAY!

So glad it's friday. The week has been pretty eventful.

Firstly, my ex-students came to visit baby and me on Tuesday. It's been a long while since we caught up. Times sure passes quick, seeing them now all in university and growing more mature each day makes me feel old. Actually speaking, I've only been teaching for 3 years or so but it feels like quite awhile.

Wednesday I tried out the sling. Went to my mum's place and as usual my darling daughter is so awake and refuses to sleep eventhough she's yawning all the time. So stubborn. Finally, I resorted to slinging her and amazingly she slept. Even on the car ride home in the evening where she struggled to wake up, she went back to sleep after patting and also when home on my bed after I carefully let her down from the sling. Haha..actually slept till 9ish at night. However, the sling doesn't always work. Think she knows it's a force to sleep and she actually procratinate when I tried at other times.

Looking forward to Friday night. I'm going to leave her home with my MIL while I go to robinsons sale. Haha..Yes I did that but somehow when I'm outside, instead of feeling that happiness of couple time once again with my hubby, I kind of miss her and wonder if my MIL was coping with her, wondering if she was alright. What an irony.

Getting a life..

Hey hey...Finally I'm finding my life back. Have been feeling all haggard and frumpy like an ag soh confined to the house, trapped by my newborn child who is feeding so ever often. Just this friday and saturday I fnally let my hubby have his opportunity to have the time alone with our dear girl while I take a break and did my hair and facial. Never felt so good with even a few hours out to groom myself. I guess the next step is to learn to venture out independently with my girl to do some shopping. Life as a mother doesn't mean I have to be home bound.

Anyway dear baby Keziah has certainly grown longer and a little chubbier. Sometimes wonder if I regretted stepping into motherhood, but look at her!



Baby Cries.... needs milk
Baby's Cranky... needs to be carried...
When Baby smiles.... nothing else matters...

Wow...another week passed

Hey it's been almost a week since the last post. Well, celebrated Keziah's full month on 6 May. It's amazing how the day went. Baby Keziah was unusually sleepy and slept even amidst the noise of the crowd who were so enthusiastically awaiting her to open her pearly eyes. What an angel but who knows the din she creates when she's with mum and dad. I guess I had a good time meeting up with friends once again after a whole time kept in house without much interaction with the world out there aside from msn. I'm glad I'm finally back to eating what I want.

Motherhood is a real challenge both physically and emotionally. It can be rather difficult to predict her wimps and fancies. I have yet to grapple the message behind her cries. Sometimes she wails so loud that I can hardly think straight and simply just provide her the milk source. As usual she will suckle but whether or not she's hungry it's another question. Babies change so quick. Right after her first month it seems like she sleeps better now in the day. At least I get an hour or two to do some stuff. She's getting more responsive and smiles as you talk to her alot more. She's reaching out and learning to grab stuff and I'm certain she's good at sticking out her little tongue too (not sure where and from whom she learned that from). Nonetheless the weird thing is my darling who sleeps well at night is getting to be more cranky during those hours. Tough trying to get her into a routine. Yes, I feel I'm getting so haggard. I must start to make an effort to look good. I can't let this go on despite the draining efforts of trying to breastfeed her. Okiez...the woes of mothers... So tempted to give her formula but each time I tell myself I must persevere to give her the best. Not forgetting upon all these, my husband. We have been spending so little time together and most of the time are taken up by the chores of simply putting her to sleep. Learning to value each moment is the underlying principle.

Just some latest pictures of Keziah at her full month ...

My milk supply...argh..

The past few days had it's goood times and bad ones. Keziah seems more rested these days n could play more... Her feeding has been still as demanding but probably a little better. However, the times she spend playing is really minimal - at most half an hr before she starts getting grouchy and demands for milk. Really wonder if I'm producing enough to meet her needs. Gee recently also got some quite negative thoughts coming in with the tiredness I face. Why should I be breastfeeding? Why she isn't seemingly satisfied after each feed? Maybe I should just give her the bottle and know how much she drinks. Even my mum keeps telling me to give her bottle though I know her intention are good, i.e. so that I can have more rest and not so stressed up. She has been proclaiming the goodness of the bottle till some times I wonder she understands why I want to breastfeed by latching despite all the pain and exhaustion which came from having to feed hourly at times. That being said, she's my mum and I know she loves me so. Being such, I started 1 feed today with the bottle of 60 ml after latching her on for 5 min as it took at least 5 min to warm up my expressed breastmilk which I refrigerated from last night express. Well she seemed to take to the bottle alright though think she was drinking too fast if the whole teat was filled with milk. Now, I pray she doesn't suck in air when drinking as we had to slant the bottle so she doesn't choke with the vigorous suckling of a hungry baby. At least she rested well in the afternoon.

However, looking at how lovely she is when she smiles so sweetly especially when going to sleep, and now even laugh "har har" when being pat to sleep, it gives me strength to learn to relax and takes things in the stride. Just learn to leave it to God. Sweeter things will be coming ahead. Stop worrying so much. Who knows what holds tomorrow, so live the day worthy of the Lord who has make TODAY.

Day 24..

Been rather low the past 2 days over baby's wakefulness. Yesterday was the most horrendous afternoon. She practically fed from 11.30am to 11pm with hardly much break in between feeds. Wonder how much she can really eat. The only time I get to break was when she takes a 5-10min snooze either in the arms or in the cot before she started yelling again for milk. Her mouth was simply actively seeking the milk source. I was certainly exhausted and started to wonder if I really had enough milk. Was feeding and searching for the net for help. Apparently she could be undergoing a growth spurt which sometimes meant that babies will feed frequently especially for breastfed ones. Cluster feeding so called is common. Hopefully this is true. Last night I really couldn't take it and simply breastfed lying down and left baby to sleep beside me. Thank God she slept and only woke up at 5.30am for feed again. Thankfully hubby was also around to help soothe her or carry her while wailing so that I could take a toilet break.

Today really thank God. She seems to take on some routine with 2 afternoon naps, each 45 min and 30 min respectively. At least I get a break to rest as well. Thankfully for my mother in law, during dinner time she carried her to sleep again for another 50 min or so while I could enjoy my dinner with hubby for a change. Hardly had time to sit down with him after her birth over a meal. Heehee.... She was at least more rested and could actually play for 30 min or so with some sweet smiles and baby talks with her hanging pooh mobile and my hubby who was trying to stimulate her brain and visual development with some coloured cards. Here's some pics taken few days back when Keziah was a little more playful and cute..

Finally done with baby shower invite

Heehee....looking back, time flies! Baby Keziah is already 18 days old. Soon would be her baby shower. Took some time before my hubby and I gathered strength and creative juices to design her invite over the weekend. Heehee...now it's done and today I have finally managed to email the invites out. Next thing is to seek out caterers for the day. Parenthood is never ceasing with new things everyday. Our lives is now surrounding her and prayfully this tie binds us all.

Keziah's invite

Many firsts to give thanks for...

Actually looking at today, there's many firsts that I got myself to do with little Keziah that I really thank God for.

First time I cut Keziah's fingernails while she was awake and staring at her mobile toys with much intent to talk to them. Certainly took me some courage to do that as she is such an active gal who keeps figeting around.

First time felt so glad to have friends visiting me and all the more encouraged when I see her managing with her 2 month old baby and 20 mth old toddler at the same time. Furthermore, her baby is really big for 2 month with loveable apple cheeks that everyone would love to pinch. It sure proves that breastfed baby can be even better nourished than formula fed. Really inspired me to strive on.

Along with the above, first time breastfeeding in front of others outside the family. Not sure how discrete I was but certainly it did make me take that first step as Keziah was crying so badly that she was practically hoarse and screeching. Haha... maybe I'll be ready soon to bring her out and breastfeed in public?

First time I am much more energetic and relaxed with Keziah taking some afternoon snooze finally after me being treated like her pacifier for some days. I guess she was just seeking some comfort suckle but somehow this has to stop. Really prayed she will take some rest in the afternoon as the continuous feeding cycle was really becoming a vicious cycle. Prayer answered! She slept at noon over my shoulders for the first time and I managed to successfully put her down to bed. Again after much fussing she slept again at 4.35 pm which is why now I am typing this here. However, this nap at 4.35 pm took me much time to soothe her and also had to pat her consistently to put her back to sleep from the moments of wakefulness from dreamland.

Guess today's quiet time with God really encouraged me from Psalms 56.
3 When I am afraid,
I will trust in you.

4 In God, whose word I praise,
in God I trust; I will not be afraid.
What can mortal man do to me?

Just as David is fighting against his enemies, he continues to look unto God for strength, to look unto God to light up his path. The key is simply trusting no matter how hard times may be. Fear not all but fear God the sole maker and creator of you and me. Sometimes within us there's so much more apprehension that can be our greater enemies than physical ones standing before us.

Keziah's day

Well though not established much organised routine, Keziah is now more predictable in her feeding n rest time. I would say it is not a typical schedule that one would expect of a 2-week old baby. Nurses in hospital told me she should be feeding on a 2-3 hr interval and sleep most of the time. Yet my baby has a difference. Now she sleeps quite alot at night which I am thankful of but feeds almost non-stop in the afternoon. Is she storing up for the night? Puzzled for a mum nursing baby on demand.

Typical day for Keziah
0730 Wakes up for feed
0830 Bath
0900 Play time.
1030 Nap
1230 -1300 Wakes up and begins the tormenting cycle of feed, pee, change diapers and doze of not more than 15 - 30 min. This goes on and on till the early evening. I really wonder how much she can drink. This is exhausting as there seems no rest time at all. The moment she falls asleep and I would to put her in bed, she cries again searching for milk. ARghhhhh....help me!!!
1900-2000 Finally more settle after a sponge which sometimes can be a crying battlefield but it really depends on her mood. Usually after a sponge she's more comfortable and ready for feed.
2100 Finish with feed and ready for bed. Sometimes take 10-20 min to sing and pat her to sleep...
0100 Wakes up for night feed (appox 45 min - 1 hr) and guai guai goes back to sleep after that
0700 Wakes up to begin another day

Guess the trying moment is the afternoon of continuous cycle which seems out of the norm.

Keziah strikes a pose

A blank stare into space

Having been through many sleepless nights, now my darling Keziah is so much more settled. Wonder how great a happiness is felt when a child smiles at you. What more about the smiles of a baby..




Here's a series of pictures of Keziah in bed...

Things are changing for the better.....

Initially, I really wonder if the stork has dropped my gal off at the wrong stop - Singapore instead of America with the odd waking up hours. Whew! A real sigh of relif...tried some suggestions from my friends to get baby Keziah to sleep better and finally she did. Praise God too that probably also due to my milk supply not having come in and thus she's complaining about the lack and refused to sleep well the past nights. At least last 2 nights I had some rest periodically about 2 hrs intervals before she woke up for feed and change of diapers. Felt so much more relax and alert in the mind. No longer going around like a zombie though I must say physically I am still catching up from the deprivation of sleep.

For those who also have night owl babies or babies who are cranky, you might like to try out these suggestions:
1) Bath baby in the morning and sponge in the early evening to relax baby
2) Play soothing music throughout the day
3) Make some distinction of day and night - light vs dark, noise vs quietness etc
4) Let baby sleep on the side and not face up to the ceiling
5) Swaddle baby tightly to provide some security
6) Use a beansprout pillow to rest across baby's chest to avoid sudden fright ....erm not too sure if the pillow really has such comforting effects but no harm trying...
7) Apply some warming oil eg. ru yi you or minyak telon (from Indonesia) to ease stomach discomfort

Having watch my little Keziah over the past 11 days, it's really how amazing they can be. Angelic beings during sleep and when not crying and certainly also of great intellectual, knowing and responding to what we say. They know who they can bully (like daddy and mummy) and know who they have to listen to to find favour in their eyes (like grandma and grandpa). Can be quite frustrating when they behave so well in front of others but not when they are with their parents. Keziah's smiles always brightens my day, even the most tired and frustrating day. She smiles not just when awake but also when asleep. Really wonder what sweet dreams she has all the time.

Another great thing to give thanks to the Lord is Keziah's growth each day. Everyday there is something new to learn from her and about her. She has finally find comfort in her bath and sponging each morning and evening respectively. These sessions are no longer a torture with her shrieking cries but a lovely moment with a quiet babe ignorant of the happenings around as mummy bathes/sponges her. I must be too exaggerated to say 100% of the time the scenerio is as such but at least 80%.

Can't wait to see how Keziah adapts and finally takes on a more regular feeding and rest...

Tough life as parents...

Sunday is the most traumatic day of this new life with little Keziah. The whole of Saturday night she had been cranky and refused to sleep. I was totally lost at what to do with her. Did all I could - fed her, changed her, pat her, sang to her and even placed her on my bed to sleep just beside me - yet she simply doze and woke up crying as if we have been tormenting her. I was almost at the brink of depression with all energies exhausted but guess that's what make parents. The first step of parenthood is the loss of sleep to some extent we can call it braindead. However, when I see her smile, even in her sleep, it just gives me that great joy and comfort that she's happy. Thank God that he helped me pick up and also for my hubby to support me though our lack of sleep did nearly drove us to show faces to one another. That's where the growth of our love deepens through the shared parenthood. This is the point where I see the once patient man who seems to put up with all things, who seems to be confident about tolerating all things, somehow just can't stand the persistent cries of baby, somehow just didn't realise that he was frustrated. Saying that of him, I too see my own weakness, wanting to be served at the beck and call when actually I am not in control at all.

Newborns = terror?

It's been very tiring over the past few days eversince coming home with baby Keziah. During my 4D3N stay at the hospital, I thought she was such an angel, feeding only at 3 hrs intervals or so, giving me much rest. I thought it was not that tough afterall nursing the child. Yet my lovely angel turned devil the moment she is home and that's why I haven't been updating the past few days. It was like I wished for a moment of break from her crankiness and cry of which I know not what she wants at times. Changed diapers, fed, burped and still refused to sleep...ARghhhh... But I must say each day is a new learning experience for me. God made each day eventful and there was something that I really learn - patience, self-denial, tolerance as a couple.

Here's a long long recall of the events over the past days since home:

10 April 2006.
Uncle came to pick sleeping Keziah up from TMC. Keziah was still an angel with the angelic look and her pearly black eyes. Everything was fine initially... three hours feed...sleep.... and three hours feed... then the nightmare begins. Constant feeding on demand... how to gauage demand? by her thunderous cry. I think it's because of the lung strengthening injection she had previously during 34th week as the gyne was afraid that she will come out premature.. but thank God she didn't. She came out full term with a strengthen lungs... :)

She was feeding every hourly from he evening to the night.... feed... satisfied and then when we put her to sleep.... cry again... urgh!!! That was not what the Hospital taught us... the three hour a feed was the ideal case... urgh!! didn't read the fine lines in the parenthood manual.. (Hospital Warranty Void once baby is back at home)... thought the extra day stay at hospital would entitle me to the extended warranty but money was the main issue.

The after midnight craving of Keziah was normal with routine feed three hourly.... phew... that's a relieve... but our hopes were shortlifted....



Yippee... one day gone and we still are positive we made a right choice not employing a confinement lady... overcharged and underwork we so thought...


11 April 2006
Mummy was the so called confinement chef... I have with me my personal butler (my hubby) and I am now official cow of Keziah triggered by her cries... how our roles changed just when Keziah was born.

The cries of Keziah was still loud... demanding for food at odd hours... not giving us time to rest.... we started to get worried that she has not done "her business" yet... Eat checked! Sleep Checked! Shit??? Ooops.... we were constantly checking if she had pooed... and we even resorted to testing the pampers to see if they were working as the insturction described.

The night was a fairly easy surpising to us, she slept from 1am till 6am and feeding only in the morning which was good for us... we thought that was good.... but boy we were wrong.....

12 April 2006
Keziah was crying the whole morning... only stop when I was having my massage and slept through for 3 hrs in my brother-in-law's room



However, due to the fact that she slept so well yesterday night, she was extremely hungry when she woke up today... crying... and wanting for more... well the milk factory has to go into overtime to cater to her demanding needs.

We tried to give her a bath today... but from the start till the end, she's crying all the way... singing, talking and comforting her did not help as she seem stressed going into the water to have her first shower. Even crying when she's changing her dirty pampers... Well it's no longer a Thomson Angel but a Thomson Devil....

Princess Keziah deceided to fully test the efficency of her personal butler and her milk making machine by deceiding to activate both of us during the wee hours of the morning from 1am till 5am. Crying when she's hungry and when she's satified and it's about time to go back to the Cot, she started crying again.. demanding for more... Imagine the sight with two person with not enough sleep handling a demanding baby... how i wish there's a volume off button on her or there's a 30 days money back guarantee from the hospital...

One piece of advise... if you're thinking of saving by not employing a confinement lady... NO!!!! employ one.....

Having a baby... $2000
Confinement lady... $1800
Sleep... Priceless

13 April 2006
We were on standby today for her strange feeding habits but we were all worn out after a eventful day yesterday. When there's a chance to sleep.. we took it... you should see our tired face... but when you see the smile on Keziah face, everything's behind you... all your sleepless night, your eyebags... all forgotten.... how can you say NO to this pretty face....

Having a baby... $2000
Confinement lady... $1800
Keziah smile... Priceless

We were suspecting if Keziah was having a good time in Uncle's room as she spent more time sleeping in there than her bedroom... hmm... wondering what might be wrong... maybe it's the after effect smell of the massage session... We'll keep that in mind....

The midnight feeds were pretty the same as yesterday... nothing out of usuall only we are still tired.....

Finally found time and energy to have a picture with Keziah..so amazed, it's been 6 days since her birth before I took a picture with her!





14 April 2006
My milk finally came.. and I can proudly say I can pump 60ml of milk out from the breastpump... well how precious is everydrop and I can understand the motto of the blood bank... "Every drop counts"



Keziah today is more predictable and we are getting use to her feeding patern... Smiled alot more and even so when she's dozing off during her feed..so cute..



Got a Made in Japan Pampers from a friend... wow!!! I must tell you.. they differ from those from Thailand where you can normaly find in the supermarkets... The MIJ pampers are more secure and have better features... they may look the same.. but mind you... one can hold the poo and one cannot! So if you can find the MIJ ones, buy it... it has Aloe Vera for the comfort of the babies... and certainly better quality control.

Just got a green bean pillow from a friend suppose to smooth her during her sleep.. will try it out.. but so far it's working.... Keeping our fingers crossed for the night to come....

Finally she's here....Her birth story...

7 April
0330 Show - Went to the loo..lost my mucous plug which fell when I was peeing..bleed as if having period..put on pad and tried to sleep more coz not much of contractions.

0430 Felt that bleeding was quite severe and got clots. Woke hb..Called into TMC and decided to go in.

0500 Showered and took breakie

0600 Reached hospital and went to labour ward put on CTG and checked for dilation..cervix 3 cm dilated..given enema and cleared bowels b4 hb came in.

0800 Pushed into birth room and started to watch tv. Checked by gynae and ate breakie again.

0900 Gynae broke water bag. Contractions became more severe and tried using breathing techniques.

0930-1000 Cannot take it, used gas to relief pain. Still not effective. Nurse checked and already 6 cm dilated so only took a thigh jab. Can't even take epidural even if I wanted to.

1000-1133 Pain was mounting till I was practically screaming at the peak of each contraction. What seems like ages till finally hb called nurse and she said I was ready to push. Somehow I just didn't get the push right and it took what seemed like ages. Gynae came and dressed to deliver the child. Next I heard that the baby had crowned. Gynae administered episotomy and I was asked to push as if I was constipating. I simply was in so much pain that air was in the mouth rather than down at the diaphragm. Yet I must thank God finally after who knows how many pushes, my darling girl was finally out.

1133 The official arrival time of Keziah Siaw Yee Wei. The gynae lifted her up for me to see how big she was. I was super worn out by then. Whew!

Next thing I know was that I delivered the placenta. It was such a huge organ looking like a liver before I was stitched up.

Looking back I really appreciated by hubby for being so supportive during the labour when I nearly went alittle hysterical. Thankful also for the relatively quick labour.

It is THE DAY.....

It's now 5.45pm on 5 April and there's still no sign of our gal wanting to come see the world yet. The day is passing and soon over. Today would have been her birthdate based on doctor's estimate. She's making her parents anticipate her arrival with each passing day. Hmm...today I experienced more backaches, some moments of contractions and just a moment ago some loose stools. Are these the signs that you are coming? Or is it that I've been just eating too much junk during these moments of waiting? Haha...better curb my appetite otherwise will be eating too much. Who knows why I've been so much into sweet stuff these days...Ben and Jerry's ice cream - must say they are very very good, with strawberry cheesecake, oatmeal and cookies, chunky monkey, phish food to name a few in my favourites. Cheesecakes are nice. Hmm...dunno y a sudden inclination for fast food and doritos. Ooops..that's enough. Guess I cover my guilt with a healthy tuna melt sandwich on wholemeal bread for breakfast and some cereal and milk for snacks today. Okiez...prayfully she'll report soon if not mummy will be eating too much undesirables.

Comfort in the LORD

Psalm 121

A song of ascents.

1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;

4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

5 The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;

8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

Noisy Reno....

Arghhh.....sickening.... Neighbour is doing renovations. Thought that last week he is already done with all the knocking and drilling but who knows, the noise is back. It's really getting on me. Pray now that they will finish the job quickly. If not how am I gonna rest after delivery which can be any thing in the next few days. From the knocks it appears that it's a one-man show. Oh please please, knock fast and finish it soon. My poor bb now got no peace even when home. How come people are doing renovations everywhere this season?

Boring...

Well started my maternity leave yesterday. Been sitting at home and seriously find it boring. Yes I know I should be enjoying this luxury of time to rest, relax, read, do whatever I want before the arrival of my little princess who will keep me ever so busy. Yet I just can't help it but to find myself alittle lost. Reading for a moment, sleeping the next then watching tv, talking on msn. Hmm...or rather am now like an ant on a hot wok, waiting anxiously for my gal to announce her arrival. She is moving still as usual, being so happy in there. Nudging and pushing. Wonder if she sleeps for long coz last night though I woke up a few times for the loo, it appeared that she's always moving. The space in there must be getting abit tight and snug. Underlying all this, it's still the unknown WAIT.

My friend in USA has just given birth to a lovely son on 2 April. So cute looking. Looks like first time mothers are always anxious and seems like our babies like to be later than expected too. Looking at the pic can't help feel the exhilaration for my friend and the mothering instinct kicking in.

Gonna be late

Thought today will be my last gynae visit since our gal's EDD is next Wed. Yet, after the examination, our bb gal is still as active inside and shows no inclination of being out. She is now 3.3 kg based on estimation from the scan. She's not engaged eventhough the cervix is soft (but not dilated). If this goes on, she will be overdue just like me many many years back. Actually I am now getting so eager to see her. 6 wks ago when there were contractions we thought she'll be out early but now looks like she's resisting. Would there be a miracle that she announces her arrival midweek with a sudden bang? I am certainly hopeful that she will not need induction and would come into the world with nature taking its course. Many questions flood my mind now. Would I be able to bear the pain? Epidural or tolerate the pain? Postpartum recovery? How am I going to handle her? Will my milk supply suffice her needs? Will I need to put up a struggle with her to get her to breastfeed? Haha...starting to think too much!

Okiez....another boring saturday afternoon...watching my hubby pack the room once again while I sit and rest...
Must find something interesting to do...