Day 24..

Been rather low the past 2 days over baby's wakefulness. Yesterday was the most horrendous afternoon. She practically fed from 11.30am to 11pm with hardly much break in between feeds. Wonder how much she can really eat. The only time I get to break was when she takes a 5-10min snooze either in the arms or in the cot before she started yelling again for milk. Her mouth was simply actively seeking the milk source. I was certainly exhausted and started to wonder if I really had enough milk. Was feeding and searching for the net for help. Apparently she could be undergoing a growth spurt which sometimes meant that babies will feed frequently especially for breastfed ones. Cluster feeding so called is common. Hopefully this is true. Last night I really couldn't take it and simply breastfed lying down and left baby to sleep beside me. Thank God she slept and only woke up at 5.30am for feed again. Thankfully hubby was also around to help soothe her or carry her while wailing so that I could take a toilet break.

Today really thank God. She seems to take on some routine with 2 afternoon naps, each 45 min and 30 min respectively. At least I get a break to rest as well. Thankfully for my mother in law, during dinner time she carried her to sleep again for another 50 min or so while I could enjoy my dinner with hubby for a change. Hardly had time to sit down with him after her birth over a meal. Heehee.... She was at least more rested and could actually play for 30 min or so with some sweet smiles and baby talks with her hanging pooh mobile and my hubby who was trying to stimulate her brain and visual development with some coloured cards. Here's some pics taken few days back when Keziah was a little more playful and cute..

Finally done with baby shower invite

Heehee....looking back, time flies! Baby Keziah is already 18 days old. Soon would be her baby shower. Took some time before my hubby and I gathered strength and creative juices to design her invite over the weekend. it's done and today I have finally managed to email the invites out. Next thing is to seek out caterers for the day. Parenthood is never ceasing with new things everyday. Our lives is now surrounding her and prayfully this tie binds us all.

Keziah's invite

Many firsts to give thanks for...

Actually looking at today, there's many firsts that I got myself to do with little Keziah that I really thank God for.

First time I cut Keziah's fingernails while she was awake and staring at her mobile toys with much intent to talk to them. Certainly took me some courage to do that as she is such an active gal who keeps figeting around.

First time felt so glad to have friends visiting me and all the more encouraged when I see her managing with her 2 month old baby and 20 mth old toddler at the same time. Furthermore, her baby is really big for 2 month with loveable apple cheeks that everyone would love to pinch. It sure proves that breastfed baby can be even better nourished than formula fed. Really inspired me to strive on.

Along with the above, first time breastfeeding in front of others outside the family. Not sure how discrete I was but certainly it did make me take that first step as Keziah was crying so badly that she was practically hoarse and screeching. Haha... maybe I'll be ready soon to bring her out and breastfeed in public?

First time I am much more energetic and relaxed with Keziah taking some afternoon snooze finally after me being treated like her pacifier for some days. I guess she was just seeking some comfort suckle but somehow this has to stop. Really prayed she will take some rest in the afternoon as the continuous feeding cycle was really becoming a vicious cycle. Prayer answered! She slept at noon over my shoulders for the first time and I managed to successfully put her down to bed. Again after much fussing she slept again at 4.35 pm which is why now I am typing this here. However, this nap at 4.35 pm took me much time to soothe her and also had to pat her consistently to put her back to sleep from the moments of wakefulness from dreamland.

Guess today's quiet time with God really encouraged me from Psalms 56.
3 When I am afraid,
I will trust in you.

4 In God, whose word I praise,
in God I trust; I will not be afraid.
What can mortal man do to me?

Just as David is fighting against his enemies, he continues to look unto God for strength, to look unto God to light up his path. The key is simply trusting no matter how hard times may be. Fear not all but fear God the sole maker and creator of you and me. Sometimes within us there's so much more apprehension that can be our greater enemies than physical ones standing before us.

Keziah's day

Well though not established much organised routine, Keziah is now more predictable in her feeding n rest time. I would say it is not a typical schedule that one would expect of a 2-week old baby. Nurses in hospital told me she should be feeding on a 2-3 hr interval and sleep most of the time. Yet my baby has a difference. Now she sleeps quite alot at night which I am thankful of but feeds almost non-stop in the afternoon. Is she storing up for the night? Puzzled for a mum nursing baby on demand.

Typical day for Keziah
0730 Wakes up for feed
0830 Bath
0900 Play time.
1030 Nap
1230 -1300 Wakes up and begins the tormenting cycle of feed, pee, change diapers and doze of not more than 15 - 30 min. This goes on and on till the early evening. I really wonder how much she can drink. This is exhausting as there seems no rest time at all. The moment she falls asleep and I would to put her in bed, she cries again searching for milk. me!!!
1900-2000 Finally more settle after a sponge which sometimes can be a crying battlefield but it really depends on her mood. Usually after a sponge she's more comfortable and ready for feed.
2100 Finish with feed and ready for bed. Sometimes take 10-20 min to sing and pat her to sleep...
0100 Wakes up for night feed (appox 45 min - 1 hr) and guai guai goes back to sleep after that
0700 Wakes up to begin another day

Guess the trying moment is the afternoon of continuous cycle which seems out of the norm.

Keziah strikes a pose

A blank stare into space

Having been through many sleepless nights, now my darling Keziah is so much more settled. Wonder how great a happiness is felt when a child smiles at you. What more about the smiles of a baby..

Here's a series of pictures of Keziah in bed...

Things are changing for the better.....

Initially, I really wonder if the stork has dropped my gal off at the wrong stop - Singapore instead of America with the odd waking up hours. Whew! A real sigh of relif...tried some suggestions from my friends to get baby Keziah to sleep better and finally she did. Praise God too that probably also due to my milk supply not having come in and thus she's complaining about the lack and refused to sleep well the past nights. At least last 2 nights I had some rest periodically about 2 hrs intervals before she woke up for feed and change of diapers. Felt so much more relax and alert in the mind. No longer going around like a zombie though I must say physically I am still catching up from the deprivation of sleep.

For those who also have night owl babies or babies who are cranky, you might like to try out these suggestions:
1) Bath baby in the morning and sponge in the early evening to relax baby
2) Play soothing music throughout the day
3) Make some distinction of day and night - light vs dark, noise vs quietness etc
4) Let baby sleep on the side and not face up to the ceiling
5) Swaddle baby tightly to provide some security
6) Use a beansprout pillow to rest across baby's chest to avoid sudden fright ....erm not too sure if the pillow really has such comforting effects but no harm trying...
7) Apply some warming oil eg. ru yi you or minyak telon (from Indonesia) to ease stomach discomfort

Having watch my little Keziah over the past 11 days, it's really how amazing they can be. Angelic beings during sleep and when not crying and certainly also of great intellectual, knowing and responding to what we say. They know who they can bully (like daddy and mummy) and know who they have to listen to to find favour in their eyes (like grandma and grandpa). Can be quite frustrating when they behave so well in front of others but not when they are with their parents. Keziah's smiles always brightens my day, even the most tired and frustrating day. She smiles not just when awake but also when asleep. Really wonder what sweet dreams she has all the time.

Another great thing to give thanks to the Lord is Keziah's growth each day. Everyday there is something new to learn from her and about her. She has finally find comfort in her bath and sponging each morning and evening respectively. These sessions are no longer a torture with her shrieking cries but a lovely moment with a quiet babe ignorant of the happenings around as mummy bathes/sponges her. I must be too exaggerated to say 100% of the time the scenerio is as such but at least 80%.

Can't wait to see how Keziah adapts and finally takes on a more regular feeding and rest...

Tough life as parents...

Sunday is the most traumatic day of this new life with little Keziah. The whole of Saturday night she had been cranky and refused to sleep. I was totally lost at what to do with her. Did all I could - fed her, changed her, pat her, sang to her and even placed her on my bed to sleep just beside me - yet she simply doze and woke up crying as if we have been tormenting her. I was almost at the brink of depression with all energies exhausted but guess that's what make parents. The first step of parenthood is the loss of sleep to some extent we can call it braindead. However, when I see her smile, even in her sleep, it just gives me that great joy and comfort that she's happy. Thank God that he helped me pick up and also for my hubby to support me though our lack of sleep did nearly drove us to show faces to one another. That's where the growth of our love deepens through the shared parenthood. This is the point where I see the once patient man who seems to put up with all things, who seems to be confident about tolerating all things, somehow just can't stand the persistent cries of baby, somehow just didn't realise that he was frustrated. Saying that of him, I too see my own weakness, wanting to be served at the beck and call when actually I am not in control at all.

Newborns = terror?

It's been very tiring over the past few days eversince coming home with baby Keziah. During my 4D3N stay at the hospital, I thought she was such an angel, feeding only at 3 hrs intervals or so, giving me much rest. I thought it was not that tough afterall nursing the child. Yet my lovely angel turned devil the moment she is home and that's why I haven't been updating the past few days. It was like I wished for a moment of break from her crankiness and cry of which I know not what she wants at times. Changed diapers, fed, burped and still refused to sleep...ARghhhh... But I must say each day is a new learning experience for me. God made each day eventful and there was something that I really learn - patience, self-denial, tolerance as a couple.

Here's a long long recall of the events over the past days since home:

10 April 2006.
Uncle came to pick sleeping Keziah up from TMC. Keziah was still an angel with the angelic look and her pearly black eyes. Everything was fine initially... three hours feed...sleep.... and three hours feed... then the nightmare begins. Constant feeding on demand... how to gauage demand? by her thunderous cry. I think it's because of the lung strengthening injection she had previously during 34th week as the gyne was afraid that she will come out premature.. but thank God she didn't. She came out full term with a strengthen lungs... :)

She was feeding every hourly from he evening to the night.... feed... satisfied and then when we put her to sleep.... cry again... urgh!!! That was not what the Hospital taught us... the three hour a feed was the ideal case... urgh!! didn't read the fine lines in the parenthood manual.. (Hospital Warranty Void once baby is back at home)... thought the extra day stay at hospital would entitle me to the extended warranty but money was the main issue.

The after midnight craving of Keziah was normal with routine feed three hourly.... phew... that's a relieve... but our hopes were shortlifted....

Yippee... one day gone and we still are positive we made a right choice not employing a confinement lady... overcharged and underwork we so thought...

11 April 2006
Mummy was the so called confinement chef... I have with me my personal butler (my hubby) and I am now official cow of Keziah triggered by her cries... how our roles changed just when Keziah was born.

The cries of Keziah was still loud... demanding for food at odd hours... not giving us time to rest.... we started to get worried that she has not done "her business" yet... Eat checked! Sleep Checked! Shit??? Ooops.... we were constantly checking if she had pooed... and we even resorted to testing the pampers to see if they were working as the insturction described.

The night was a fairly easy surpising to us, she slept from 1am till 6am and feeding only in the morning which was good for us... we thought that was good.... but boy we were wrong.....

12 April 2006
Keziah was crying the whole morning... only stop when I was having my massage and slept through for 3 hrs in my brother-in-law's room

However, due to the fact that she slept so well yesterday night, she was extremely hungry when she woke up today... crying... and wanting for more... well the milk factory has to go into overtime to cater to her demanding needs.

We tried to give her a bath today... but from the start till the end, she's crying all the way... singing, talking and comforting her did not help as she seem stressed going into the water to have her first shower. Even crying when she's changing her dirty pampers... Well it's no longer a Thomson Angel but a Thomson Devil....

Princess Keziah deceided to fully test the efficency of her personal butler and her milk making machine by deceiding to activate both of us during the wee hours of the morning from 1am till 5am. Crying when she's hungry and when she's satified and it's about time to go back to the Cot, she started crying again.. demanding for more... Imagine the sight with two person with not enough sleep handling a demanding baby... how i wish there's a volume off button on her or there's a 30 days money back guarantee from the hospital...

One piece of advise... if you're thinking of saving by not employing a confinement lady... NO!!!! employ one.....

Having a baby... $2000
Confinement lady... $1800
Sleep... Priceless

13 April 2006
We were on standby today for her strange feeding habits but we were all worn out after a eventful day yesterday. When there's a chance to sleep.. we took it... you should see our tired face... but when you see the smile on Keziah face, everything's behind you... all your sleepless night, your eyebags... all forgotten.... how can you say NO to this pretty face....

Having a baby... $2000
Confinement lady... $1800
Keziah smile... Priceless

We were suspecting if Keziah was having a good time in Uncle's room as she spent more time sleeping in there than her bedroom... hmm... wondering what might be wrong... maybe it's the after effect smell of the massage session... We'll keep that in mind....

The midnight feeds were pretty the same as yesterday... nothing out of usuall only we are still tired.....

Finally found time and energy to have a picture with amazed, it's been 6 days since her birth before I took a picture with her!

14 April 2006
My milk finally came.. and I can proudly say I can pump 60ml of milk out from the breastpump... well how precious is everydrop and I can understand the motto of the blood bank... "Every drop counts"

Keziah today is more predictable and we are getting use to her feeding patern... Smiled alot more and even so when she's dozing off during her cute..

Got a Made in Japan Pampers from a friend... wow!!! I must tell you.. they differ from those from Thailand where you can normaly find in the supermarkets... The MIJ pampers are more secure and have better features... they may look the same.. but mind you... one can hold the poo and one cannot! So if you can find the MIJ ones, buy it... it has Aloe Vera for the comfort of the babies... and certainly better quality control.

Just got a green bean pillow from a friend suppose to smooth her during her sleep.. will try it out.. but so far it's working.... Keeping our fingers crossed for the night to come....

Finally she's here....Her birth story...

7 April
0330 Show - Went to the loo..lost my mucous plug which fell when I was peeing..bleed as if having period..put on pad and tried to sleep more coz not much of contractions.

0430 Felt that bleeding was quite severe and got clots. Woke hb..Called into TMC and decided to go in.

0500 Showered and took breakie

0600 Reached hospital and went to labour ward put on CTG and checked for dilation..cervix 3 cm dilated..given enema and cleared bowels b4 hb came in.

0800 Pushed into birth room and started to watch tv. Checked by gynae and ate breakie again.

0900 Gynae broke water bag. Contractions became more severe and tried using breathing techniques.

0930-1000 Cannot take it, used gas to relief pain. Still not effective. Nurse checked and already 6 cm dilated so only took a thigh jab. Can't even take epidural even if I wanted to.

1000-1133 Pain was mounting till I was practically screaming at the peak of each contraction. What seems like ages till finally hb called nurse and she said I was ready to push. Somehow I just didn't get the push right and it took what seemed like ages. Gynae came and dressed to deliver the child. Next I heard that the baby had crowned. Gynae administered episotomy and I was asked to push as if I was constipating. I simply was in so much pain that air was in the mouth rather than down at the diaphragm. Yet I must thank God finally after who knows how many pushes, my darling girl was finally out.

1133 The official arrival time of Keziah Siaw Yee Wei. The gynae lifted her up for me to see how big she was. I was super worn out by then. Whew!

Next thing I know was that I delivered the placenta. It was such a huge organ looking like a liver before I was stitched up.

Looking back I really appreciated by hubby for being so supportive during the labour when I nearly went alittle hysterical. Thankful also for the relatively quick labour.

It is THE DAY.....

It's now 5.45pm on 5 April and there's still no sign of our gal wanting to come see the world yet. The day is passing and soon over. Today would have been her birthdate based on doctor's estimate. She's making her parents anticipate her arrival with each passing day. I experienced more backaches, some moments of contractions and just a moment ago some loose stools. Are these the signs that you are coming? Or is it that I've been just eating too much junk during these moments of waiting? Haha...better curb my appetite otherwise will be eating too much. Who knows why I've been so much into sweet stuff these days...Ben and Jerry's ice cream - must say they are very very good, with strawberry cheesecake, oatmeal and cookies, chunky monkey, phish food to name a few in my favourites. Cheesecakes are nice. Hmm...dunno y a sudden inclination for fast food and doritos. Ooops..that's enough. Guess I cover my guilt with a healthy tuna melt sandwich on wholemeal bread for breakfast and some cereal and milk for snacks today. Okiez...prayfully she'll report soon if not mummy will be eating too much undesirables.

Comfort in the LORD

Psalm 121

A song of ascents.

1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;

4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

5 The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;

8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

Noisy Reno....

Arghhh.....sickening.... Neighbour is doing renovations. Thought that last week he is already done with all the knocking and drilling but who knows, the noise is back. It's really getting on me. Pray now that they will finish the job quickly. If not how am I gonna rest after delivery which can be any thing in the next few days. From the knocks it appears that it's a one-man show. Oh please please, knock fast and finish it soon. My poor bb now got no peace even when home. How come people are doing renovations everywhere this season?


Well started my maternity leave yesterday. Been sitting at home and seriously find it boring. Yes I know I should be enjoying this luxury of time to rest, relax, read, do whatever I want before the arrival of my little princess who will keep me ever so busy. Yet I just can't help it but to find myself alittle lost. Reading for a moment, sleeping the next then watching tv, talking on msn. Hmm...or rather am now like an ant on a hot wok, waiting anxiously for my gal to announce her arrival. She is moving still as usual, being so happy in there. Nudging and pushing. Wonder if she sleeps for long coz last night though I woke up a few times for the loo, it appeared that she's always moving. The space in there must be getting abit tight and snug. Underlying all this, it's still the unknown WAIT.

My friend in USA has just given birth to a lovely son on 2 April. So cute looking. Looks like first time mothers are always anxious and seems like our babies like to be later than expected too. Looking at the pic can't help feel the exhilaration for my friend and the mothering instinct kicking in.

Gonna be late

Thought today will be my last gynae visit since our gal's EDD is next Wed. Yet, after the examination, our bb gal is still as active inside and shows no inclination of being out. She is now 3.3 kg based on estimation from the scan. She's not engaged eventhough the cervix is soft (but not dilated). If this goes on, she will be overdue just like me many many years back. Actually I am now getting so eager to see her. 6 wks ago when there were contractions we thought she'll be out early but now looks like she's resisting. Would there be a miracle that she announces her arrival midweek with a sudden bang? I am certainly hopeful that she will not need induction and would come into the world with nature taking its course. Many questions flood my mind now. Would I be able to bear the pain? Epidural or tolerate the pain? Postpartum recovery? How am I going to handle her? Will my milk supply suffice her needs? Will I need to put up a struggle with her to get her to breastfeed? Haha...starting to think too much!

Okiez....another boring saturday afternoon...watching my hubby pack the room once again while I sit and rest...
Must find something interesting to do...