AT mum's

Today is my weekly visit with baby to my mum's. I'm amazed that after a week, baby Keziah actually knows it's a different place and refuses to take her noon nap eventhough she is tired. She would nap for 5 min after placing her down on the bed and start to wail again. She would be comfortable sleeping on the shoulder but not the bed. Guess it's security. It's not her feeding time yet so it's the persistence of putting her to bed. This cycle repeats itself for 4-5 times before she finally settles down for a 30 min nap till her due feed time. How smart babies are! On the other hand, they are rather forgetful and easily out of their comfort zone.

Nonetheless, it's alot more relaxing for me with someone else to play with her rather than me. I can have some peace of mind to express my milk and surf the net. Heehee..She's a playful gal and loves to engage in talks and fun more now. Looking at her wave her hands and kick her legs and for once I saw her kinda holding on her own feet to play today.

Week 7 plus

Whew..time seems to past without much realisation. Baby Keziah is almost 8 weeks old. By right she should be getting into some form of routine but as usual things don't go as expected. Juz one moment in the morning she was enjoying her bath which is one of her favourite activity for the day, another moment she was wailing and poor mummy here doesn't know what she wants. Thought she's hungry, but she was so angry at the breast and keep refusing it. Thinking that she is sleepy, tried to carry, rock and sing her to sleep but to no avail. I must say she was tired and wanted to sleep but somehow something was disturbing her since she has already been up for 3-4 hours. So there I went trying to withstand the cries and continued to carry, rock and sing to settle her and for a moment it seemed like ages. This was especially so with a terrible aching hands which had been aggravated by the ravage of hormones causing carpal tunnel syndrome. She dozed off but was woken by her own shrill hicks as if short of breathe and sudden jerk of her head. She swallowed as if someone tried to drown her with loads of liquids. I was almost on the verge of tears. Thank God after a few of such scenerios and burps, she finally settled to rest and that's why I am here writing this blog. Hmm..my mother-in-law said it was due to her having a narrow windpipe and apparently the PD said during last visit 1 week plus ago that it's normal and babies will outgrow it. Sure hopes she outgrows it quickly. What a traumatic start of week.

On the happy note, sharing here some pictures of her bath. First bath pictures after such a long time with her posing nude. Ha ha...

Keziah's enjoying her bath

First 'RA' pose

Keziah's messing up again after Daddy cleans her

Keziah's finally sleeping after fussing for hours

Life has never been so good...

All smiles these 2 days. Baby Keziah has never been so good. Somehow it seems like I understand her better and of coz same of her to me. The sense of achievement of being able to put her to nap in the day, be it 30 mins or 1h, has never felt so good. She seems to be feeding more regularly and that probably means that my milk supply has more or less stabilise to meet her needs. Really thank God and certainly more prayers as this journey of motherhood progresses. Her responsive smiles has certainly caught the eyes of many, her interesting responses of cooing and babbling communicate her thoughts to people and things she sees, her lovely gaze has never been so much more alert. Of coz I would like her to take longer afternoon naps so that I can have more time for my own but what more can I ask for. Each day will get better. Babies are unpredictable at times and I am learning to take to the flow of things. This certainly makes life for enjoyable. Hmm...one thing I must learn is how to make her want to be carried less. She has somehow taken to enjoying being carried to look at things, carried when feeling sleepy, carried when grumpy. She has also yet to learn to settle into bed on her own (well the books says babies should be able to settle down on their own to bed). Do I really have to try cold turkey and let her cry to sleep? Hmm....

Started online shopping for some transition clothes which I can wear to nurse discretely outside. Have never been so enthusiastic about online shopping ever. Heehee...Juz received my new clothes today. Can't wait to try it on! Hope I will look good in them. Bought this nursing tea that is supposed to increase milk supply. I suppose everything is a trial. Well well, so all in all I spent $105. Gotta watch that I don't go overboard with shopping. Mothers must look good too! Haha...

Why MONDAY!

Monday..Monday...Monday...
Somehow all things unfortunate happens on Monday. Keziah seems to have taken to some silly Monday crank all the time. Last night she slept only at 2am and today she got up at 8 am. Fed her, bath her, changed her, played with her but she just didn't want to sleep when it's time to put her to nap. She was so cranky and it really drove me up the wall wondering what was wrong. Fed her when it's not even feeding time to soothe her but somehow it didn't work. She was screaming till her face was all red. Yes, I see red too!!!! Finally took her out for a walk to Novena Square and she somehow quieten and fell asleep on the walk. So I simply spent 1h window shopping and came home due to a bad stomach. She was wide awake again once she hit home. What can I say? She's gonna be a outdoor gal when she grows up? Thankfully my hubby took a day off to keep me company seeing the distress I face. Somehow I feel so thankful but there's really little he could do when I am breastfeeding. At least I could have a hug when I feel low and somehow to carry her around. Noted that Keziah has started to recognise people and when she's cranky it seems that I am the only one who could carry her and soothe her down for a little while. Though I feel good she knows I am mummy but I also want others to be able to help me out in carrying her. Okiez better rest before she next wakes up.

It's FRIDAY!

So glad it's friday. The week has been pretty eventful.

Firstly, my ex-students came to visit baby and me on Tuesday. It's been a long while since we caught up. Times sure passes quick, seeing them now all in university and growing more mature each day makes me feel old. Actually speaking, I've only been teaching for 3 years or so but it feels like quite awhile.

Wednesday I tried out the sling. Went to my mum's place and as usual my darling daughter is so awake and refuses to sleep eventhough she's yawning all the time. So stubborn. Finally, I resorted to slinging her and amazingly she slept. Even on the car ride home in the evening where she struggled to wake up, she went back to sleep after patting and also when home on my bed after I carefully let her down from the sling. Haha..actually slept till 9ish at night. However, the sling doesn't always work. Think she knows it's a force to sleep and she actually procratinate when I tried at other times.

Looking forward to Friday night. I'm going to leave her home with my MIL while I go to robinsons sale. Haha..Yes I did that but somehow when I'm outside, instead of feeling that happiness of couple time once again with my hubby, I kind of miss her and wonder if my MIL was coping with her, wondering if she was alright. What an irony.

Getting a life..

Hey hey...Finally I'm finding my life back. Have been feeling all haggard and frumpy like an ag soh confined to the house, trapped by my newborn child who is feeding so ever often. Just this friday and saturday I fnally let my hubby have his opportunity to have the time alone with our dear girl while I take a break and did my hair and facial. Never felt so good with even a few hours out to groom myself. I guess the next step is to learn to venture out independently with my girl to do some shopping. Life as a mother doesn't mean I have to be home bound.

Anyway dear baby Keziah has certainly grown longer and a little chubbier. Sometimes wonder if I regretted stepping into motherhood, but look at her!



Baby Cries.... needs milk
Baby's Cranky... needs to be carried...
When Baby smiles.... nothing else matters...

Wow...another week passed

Hey it's been almost a week since the last post. Well, celebrated Keziah's full month on 6 May. It's amazing how the day went. Baby Keziah was unusually sleepy and slept even amidst the noise of the crowd who were so enthusiastically awaiting her to open her pearly eyes. What an angel but who knows the din she creates when she's with mum and dad. I guess I had a good time meeting up with friends once again after a whole time kept in house without much interaction with the world out there aside from msn. I'm glad I'm finally back to eating what I want.

Motherhood is a real challenge both physically and emotionally. It can be rather difficult to predict her wimps and fancies. I have yet to grapple the message behind her cries. Sometimes she wails so loud that I can hardly think straight and simply just provide her the milk source. As usual she will suckle but whether or not she's hungry it's another question. Babies change so quick. Right after her first month it seems like she sleeps better now in the day. At least I get an hour or two to do some stuff. She's getting more responsive and smiles as you talk to her alot more. She's reaching out and learning to grab stuff and I'm certain she's good at sticking out her little tongue too (not sure where and from whom she learned that from). Nonetheless the weird thing is my darling who sleeps well at night is getting to be more cranky during those hours. Tough trying to get her into a routine. Yes, I feel I'm getting so haggard. I must start to make an effort to look good. I can't let this go on despite the draining efforts of trying to breastfeed her. Okiez...the woes of mothers... So tempted to give her formula but each time I tell myself I must persevere to give her the best. Not forgetting upon all these, my husband. We have been spending so little time together and most of the time are taken up by the chores of simply putting her to sleep. Learning to value each moment is the underlying principle.

Just some latest pictures of Keziah at her full month ...

My milk supply...argh..

The past few days had it's goood times and bad ones. Keziah seems more rested these days n could play more... Her feeding has been still as demanding but probably a little better. However, the times she spend playing is really minimal - at most half an hr before she starts getting grouchy and demands for milk. Really wonder if I'm producing enough to meet her needs. Gee recently also got some quite negative thoughts coming in with the tiredness I face. Why should I be breastfeeding? Why she isn't seemingly satisfied after each feed? Maybe I should just give her the bottle and know how much she drinks. Even my mum keeps telling me to give her bottle though I know her intention are good, i.e. so that I can have more rest and not so stressed up. She has been proclaiming the goodness of the bottle till some times I wonder she understands why I want to breastfeed by latching despite all the pain and exhaustion which came from having to feed hourly at times. That being said, she's my mum and I know she loves me so. Being such, I started 1 feed today with the bottle of 60 ml after latching her on for 5 min as it took at least 5 min to warm up my expressed breastmilk which I refrigerated from last night express. Well she seemed to take to the bottle alright though think she was drinking too fast if the whole teat was filled with milk. Now, I pray she doesn't suck in air when drinking as we had to slant the bottle so she doesn't choke with the vigorous suckling of a hungry baby. At least she rested well in the afternoon.

However, looking at how lovely she is when she smiles so sweetly especially when going to sleep, and now even laugh "har har" when being pat to sleep, it gives me strength to learn to relax and takes things in the stride. Just learn to leave it to God. Sweeter things will be coming ahead. Stop worrying so much. Who knows what holds tomorrow, so live the day worthy of the Lord who has make TODAY.