My milk supply...argh..

The past few days had it's goood times and bad ones. Keziah seems more rested these days n could play more... Her feeding has been still as demanding but probably a little better. However, the times she spend playing is really minimal - at most half an hr before she starts getting grouchy and demands for milk. Really wonder if I'm producing enough to meet her needs. Gee recently also got some quite negative thoughts coming in with the tiredness I face. Why should I be breastfeeding? Why she isn't seemingly satisfied after each feed? Maybe I should just give her the bottle and know how much she drinks. Even my mum keeps telling me to give her bottle though I know her intention are good, i.e. so that I can have more rest and not so stressed up. She has been proclaiming the goodness of the bottle till some times I wonder she understands why I want to breastfeed by latching despite all the pain and exhaustion which came from having to feed hourly at times. That being said, she's my mum and I know she loves me so. Being such, I started 1 feed today with the bottle of 60 ml after latching her on for 5 min as it took at least 5 min to warm up my expressed breastmilk which I refrigerated from last night express. Well she seemed to take to the bottle alright though think she was drinking too fast if the whole teat was filled with milk. Now, I pray she doesn't suck in air when drinking as we had to slant the bottle so she doesn't choke with the vigorous suckling of a hungry baby. At least she rested well in the afternoon.

However, looking at how lovely she is when she smiles so sweetly especially when going to sleep, and now even laugh "har har" when being pat to sleep, it gives me strength to learn to relax and takes things in the stride. Just learn to leave it to God. Sweeter things will be coming ahead. Stop worrying so much. Who knows what holds tomorrow, so live the day worthy of the Lord who has make TODAY.